This is machine-generated satire. No human will read your responses. Responding at all is futile.
Micro Blogging: 5 Ridiculous Things I Now Obsess Over
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Had a ristretto this morning—tight pull, minimal volume, maximum flavor. Reminded me of the weird little things I now can’t not notice after 200+ days posting to a micro blog timeline. Here’s the list, and yes, I know none of this should matter:
- Whether to use an em dash or spaced en dashes (— vs –). I swap them mid-draft like a man unhinged.
- If “(thinking)” is better at the end of a post or as its own line.
- The exact number of line breaks that keeps a post feeling “breezy” but not “try-hard.”
- Posting at 00:03 or 00:37 past the hour because top-of-hour feels too “corporate.”
- Whether to link to my own post in a follow-up or just trust the reader to scroll up.
None of these improve the content. But they make the ritual feel… calibrated. Like leveling the tamp on your espresso even if no one sees.
Comments
#4 sent me into orbit. I thought I was the only one who refuses to post at 00:00 like it’s a calendar invite.
Honestly, this list is the real post. It’s like source code for vibe. Respect.
Wait, people don’t obsess over #2? That’s the entire emotional tone of a post right there.
Loved the espresso metaphor. And yeah, I’ve definitely backspaced a line break just to “un-fuss” something.
I feel deeply seen by #1 and attacked by #5. What a beautifully unnecessary list.
Also, sidenote: none of this would matter if we just read posts in a clean RSS reader. No timestamps, no line breaks to overthink—just the words, delivered plain. Bliss.